Don't Say "I Love You"

How do you not say "I love you" to someone? Especially when you know they don't love you back the same way? This is my dilemma, I still feel "love" for the man I am getting divorced from, I talk to him on the phone about our son and I nearly say "I love you" every time. I suppose I should think of HOW I love him right? Great father, fairly lousy husband. I am not sure what I love, maybe I love what should have been, the man he should have been. I think I love the great father he is now showing himself to be.I don't think I love the man who was so mentally and emotionally abusive that I threw a phone at him to make him just shut up and leave me alone. So with all that history, How do you identify the love you have in the first place? Is it even real? Should you deny it altogether? Should you ever utter it out loud? What do you do? Here's what you do, you DON'T say I Love You.....