Wiggin Out

Today I woke up praying to god. Praying that when we went to my grandmothers house (now a den of evil) which is filled with major uncomfortable feelings. I prayed that we would remain unaffected by it. So far so good right? We go over and are unaffected. We go out and about (we being me and my mom) in town. When we get back, there is a pile of things in front of our storage unit.My heart stops, then sinks. They know where we live. They know the apartment number. They know where we live, safety net is gone. SAFTEY NET IS GONE!!HOW DID THEY FIND OUT?! WHO TOLD THEM?! HOW DID THEY FIGURE IT OUT?! OH MY GOD!!HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE NOW AND SHE DOES TOO!! I AM NOT SAFE ANYMORE!!!!! SOMEONE! ANYONE! OK OK OK OK CALM DOWN CALM DOWN deeep breath in deeeeep breath out.........they can't get in as long as the door is locked and don't answer the phone if they call. Its OK Jesus is my savior and God is my King and father, and I shall be protected! Nothing, nor anyone can touch me! Yeah! So why do I still feel so anxious? My heart is still going a little fast, my hands are still shaking a bit. Maybe its the adrenaline, I hope so, because I sure don't want that sick feeling you get when fear takes over, all paralyzing and junk. Now that I have seen my anxiety and fear in writing it feels silly almost.Like overreacting, but I am glad I got it out like I did, nothing like wiggin out in writing......hope I stay sane until next entry